


What Do We Put Here? I Don't Know, Just Think of Something Creative!

by Send_Help48



Category: Saint Oniisan | Saint Young Men
Genre: Apart from Uriel, Buddha is probably the only sane person there, Just a bunch of randomness, Just pals being pals, Randomness, Texting, There's a lot of other characters but Imma just put the main ones, groupchat, nothing makes sense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-04
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:01:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25059661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Send_Help48/pseuds/Send_Help48
Summary: An insight into what the Saints and Sinners get up too in the magical land of texting.I'd like to apologise in advance in case any of the characters are a bit OOC.(Warning, all chapters will include depictions of religious figures in a way that might be offensive to some readers. I am truly sorry if I offend anyone, I am just trying to be entertaining and (hopefully) make at least one person laugh from this. Probably best read if you are at least 13 or older.)
Kudos: 2





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, the title is an actual conversation that I have had with my friend we had while we were working on a school project.  
> This book is basically something to feed the SYM fandom until all English publications of the manga come out! Or until they get bored and forget about this.
> 
> This chapter is basically going to be about a group chat that holds Jesus and his disciples. Nothing serious happens, just some messing around. Nothing too serious, promise!
> 
> Final warning, this contains mentions of religious figures that could offend you, and if it does, please accept my apology. I don't mean to offend anyone, I just want to have some fun.
> 
> CHARACTERS:  
> longhair - Jesus  
> Judas - Judas  
> icantsee - Andrew  
> The_First_Pope - Peter  
> armin_copycat - John  
> JamesTheJust - James  
> notatrain - Thomas

-Thu Feb 27th, 3:57 PM-

-longhair has made a group-

-longhair has renamed the group to The Squad-

-longhair has added armin_copycat and 5 others to The Squad-

The_First_Pope: FIRST

armin_copycat: SECOND

JamesTheJust: Jello

longhair: welcome to The Squad!

longhair: feel free to make yourselves at home!

The_First_Pope: IGHT WHERE'S THE WEED

icantsee: brother no

armin_copycat: FORGET WEED

armin_copycat: WHERES THE C R A C K

icantsee: JOHN NO

JamesTheJust: Why are you like this

longhair: no no they have a point

longhair: weeds in the lower cabinet

longhair: crack in the cupboard

Judas: Under the stars?

longhair: :O

icantsee: did Judas just make a HP reference?

-Judas liked icantsee's message-

armin_copycat: omg he luvs u

The_First_Pope: holy cow my brother just tamed judas lol

JamesTheJust: I had no idea that was possible

Judas: For your information, I am capable of loving people

Judas: I just have PTSD 

icantsee: love you too <3

Judas: Shut up

longhair: judas no fighting.

Judas: @icantsee started it

icantsee: no i didn't

Judas: Yes you did

icantsee: how?

Judas: You sent the message

longhair: i mean

longhair: the man has a point

armin_copycat: wait

armin_copycat: did u add thomas 2

longhair: ye

armin_copycat: mayb he can settle it

The_First_Pope: good idea

The_First_Pope: wait whats Thomas username?

longhair: notatrain

The_First_Pope: thanks

The_First_Pope: everyone spam it

JamesTheJust: Before you all start spamming, I have an idea

icantsee: shoot

Judas: If it doesn't work, can start spamming?

JamesTheJust: BY THE POWER INVESTED IN ME I SUMMON THEE

JamesTheJust: @notatrain

notatrain: You call?

armin_copycat: holy shit it works

Judas: I-

icantsee: ngl kinda wanted to spam lol

notatrain: Want me to leave or...?

JamesTheJust: No, no, stay

notatrain: What did you want?

longhair: we want to know who proclaimed their love first

Judas: No one proclaimed their love to anyone

icantsee: lies

notatrain: Out of...?

longhair: judas and andrew

notatrain: Give me a sec

notatrain: I'm back

notatrain: Judas started it

Judas: NO I DIDN'T

armin_copycat: u liked his message

Judas: BECAUSE HE UNDERSTOOD THE REFERENCE

longhair: so did i

notatrain: Do you want me leave so you guys can sort it out?

The_First_Pope: stay

The_First_Pope: we need witnesses

Judas: For what exactly?

The_First_Pope: for the marriage

Judas: Too...?

The_First_Pope: you and my brother

-Judas has left The Squad-

icantsee: NOOOOOOOOO

icantsee: COME BAAAAAAAAAACK

armin_copycat: mmmmmm watcha saaaaaaaaaaaaaaay

-longhair has added Judas to The Squad-

icantsee: :D

The_First_Pope: Welcome back!

-Judas has left The Squad-

-longhair has added Judas to The Squad-

-Judas has left The Squad-

-longhair has added judas to The Squad-

Judas: STOP ADDING ME BACK TO THE GROUP

Judas: I DON'T WANT TO GET MARRIED.

The_First_Pope: ok fine

The_First_Pope: we'll stop

Judas: ANDREW I KNOW YOU CHANGED IT MY CONTACT NAME TO BRIDE (edited)

Judas: CHANGE IT BACK

icantsee: awwwwww

armin_copycat: judas stop being a tsundere

Judas: I'M NOT A TSUNDERE

armin_copycat: u r

Judas: I AM NOT

Judas: THOMAS BACK ME UP

notatrain: You're not a tsundere

Judas: THANK YOU

notatrain: You're a Dandere as well

Judas: THAT IS IT

Judas: I GIVE UP

icantsee: nooooooooooo

armin_copycat: dis is mega tsundere levels right here

Judas: @armin_copycat SHUT UP

armin_copycat: :(

armin_copycat: ur mean @Judas

Judas: I know

armin_copycat: >:O

-longhair has renamed the group to Crackheads-

Judas: ...

icantsee: LOL

armin_copycat: noice

armin_copycat: but judas is still a tsundere

notatrain: And dandere

Judas: That's it

Judas: I'm out

-Judas has left Crackeads-

icantsee: awwww

The_First_Pope: dont be dishearted brother

The_First_Pope: theres plenty more fish in the sea!

armin_copycat: is lord jesus going 2 add him back?

longhair: not yet

longhair: ill do it tomorrow when he's less frustrated and murderous

armin_copycat: 👌

notatrain: I gotta go

icantsee: why?

notatrain: Mara keeps sending me pictures of baby maras

icantsee: oh ok

The_First_Pope: why is he sending you baby photos of himself?

notatrain: *sends attached picture*

The_First_Pope: oh its cute

longhair: why is sending you baby maras?

notatrain: It means he's sad about something

notatrain: I seriously gotta go now

notatrain: Cya

armin_copycat: bye!

icantsee: cya

The_First_Pope: *sends gif attachment*

longhair: peter, this isn't the HG

The_First_Pope: i know


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buddha actually answers a message from Mara, for once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to say that this chapter will include Buddha in a different light that may be offensive to people, this chapter also contains mentions of someone who is part of the LGBTQ+ community, someone who is genderfluid to be exact. If I get any information wrong or offend anyone, I am truly sorry. I really don't mean to offend anyone.
> 
> ADDED CHARACTERS:  
> snakieboi - Mara  
> Buddha

-Wed Mar 11, 8:23 AM-

snakieboi: hey

snakieboi: hey

snakieboi: awnser ur phon stupid face

snakieboi: hey

snakieboi: stupid

snakieboi: awnser

snakieboi: ur

snakieboi: phon

snakieboi: pls

snakieboi: ...

snakieboi: i have ur sun as a hostige

Buddha: You what?

Buddha: What do you want and where is my son?

snakieboi: good

snakieboi: u awnserd

Buddha: Where is my son?

snakieboi: relax

snakieboi: i dont have him stupid face

Buddha: Mara.

Buddha: If I find out that you have him I can guarantee you that you will be sorry.

snakieboi: ok jeez u need 2 calm down i dont hav him

Buddha: I want proof.

snakieboi: ok fine

snakieboi: *attached video*

snakieboi: c i dont have him

Buddha: Good.

Buddha: But don't you dare do that again.

Buddha: How would you like it if I messaged you and said that I have one or all of your daughters as a hostage?

snakieboi: i wouldnt like it

Buddha: Exactly.

Buddha: Please don't do that to me.

snakieboi: ok jeez im sorry stupid

Buddha:Are you really?

snakieboi: i am!

Buddha: Okay.

Buddha: What did you want to talk to me about?

snakieboi: i just want 2 give u a heads up

Buddha: About...?

snakieboi: my pronouns

Buddha: Oh, okay.

Buddha: What would you like to be called?

snakieboi: uhhhhhh they/them atm

Buddha: atm?

snakieboi: at the moment

Buddha: So you are bigender?

snakieboi: genderfluid actualy u dumb dumb

Buddha: Alright.

Buddha: Tell me whenever your pronouns change.

Buddha: Wait, do you want me to call you something else?

Buddha: For your name, I mean.

snakieboi: no thx u can still call me mara

Buddha: Wait, did you tell Thomas and your daughters?

snakieboi: not yet

Buddha: Do it!

Buddha: I don't want you to be misgendered!

snakieboi: it ok

snakieboi: im used to it stupid

Buddha: You shouldn't be!

snakieboi: y?

Buddha: It's not good for your mental health!

snakieboi: fine

snakieboi: ill tell them l8r

snakieboi: y do u care?

Buddha: Because I just do.

snakieboi: y?

Buddha: Because I don't want dysphoria to be a bitch.

snakieboi: wow

sankieboi: who r u and wat have u done 2 mr stupid face?

Buddha: I'm sorry for cursing.

Buddha: And please don't call me that.

snakieboi: ok mr stupid face

Buddha: Wait, aren't you going to change your username?

snakieboi: naaaaaah

snakieboi: 2 lazyyyyy

Buddha: That's not good for you!

snakieboi: but its 2 much woooooooooooorrk.

Buddha: Mara!

snakieboi: ye?

Buddha: It's not good for your mental health!

snakieboi: i know stupid

Buddha: That's it.

Buddha: I give up.

Buddha: You do what you want to do.

snakieboi: ok stupid

snakieboi: can i ask smth?

Buddha: Sure...

snakieboi: does devie always star @ u wen u cri?

Buddha: What the- are you okay?!

snakieboi: ye

snakieboi: just cring u stupid face

Buddha: What happened?

snakieboi: dis is just the 1st time someone besides luci and devie was so chill + worried abt me being gf

snakieboi: i feel special

Buddha: Oh.

Buddha: Okay.

Buddha: Just please don't cry.

snakieboi: ok im srry

Buddha: Don't apologize.

Buddha: I just don't want you to cry.

snakieboi: ok

Buddha: Also, promise that you'll message me when your pronouns change?

snakieboi: promise :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry if this is really OOC, I just felt like writing something fluff with Buddha and Mara in it.
> 
> I'm also really sorry if I offended anyone. I don't mean too. If I did offend you, please tell me why and I'll try not to do it in the future. If I got some information wrong about being genderfluid (or bigender), please tell me. I don't want to make anyone feel upset or offended.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What the hell did Peter do?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I am having way too much fun writing this. Should I be scared? Oh well, I'm just here writing stuff for the fandom. Hope you enjoy it! We are also having another look back into the Crackheads Group Chat!
> 
> (Also, I should probably say that this chapter contains mentions of homophobia and transphobia. I'm sorry if I offend anyone, I don't mean too.)

-Sat Mar 14th, 10:12 AM-

longhair: ok no one panic but

longhair: peters been taken into police custedy

longhair: *custody

icantsee: WHAT

JamesTheJust: How did that happen?

armin_copycat: spill the tea sis

armin_copycat: spill iiiiiiiiiiiiiiit

Judas: Kinda saw it coming ngl

notatrain: Elaborate

icantsee: IS HE OKAY

icantsee: YESHUA HOLY CHRIST ANSWER THE QUESTION

notatrain: Wait, how did you know @Judas ?

armin_copycat: bro u need to calm down

Judas: @notatrain Personality lol he's kind of violent

icantsee: @armin_copycat I AM CALM

icantsee: HE IS NOT T H A T VIOLENT ANYMORE

Judas: Dude

Judas: He kicked Jack out of heaven and yelled at him online after doing something nice for him

icantsee: ...

icantsee: okay you have a point, hes still slightly violent

JamesTheJust: Wait, where's Jesus?

armin_copycat: everyone spam

longhair: WAIT WAIT WAIT IM HERE I JUST HAD TO QUICKLY TALK TO THE OFFICER PLS DONT SPAM THE CHAT

armin_copycat: ok

icantsee: what did the police say?

longhair: they said that peter will have to stay in their custody for 2 weeks for charges for physical assault and walking around without an id

notatrain: What did he do for physical assault?

longhair: broke a man's nose

Judas: What did the man do?

Judas: Call him hot-headed?

icantsee: judas this isnt the time for jokes

icantsee: this is serious

Judas: Okay sorry

JamesTheJust: If you don't mind me asking, why did he do it?

longhair: the man was just saying stuff

armin_copycat: just stuff

longhair: yep

longhair: just stuff

armin_copycat: ...no offence for u but i find that hard to believe

notatrain: What did the man say?

longhair: n nothing

notatrain: Jesus...

longhair: no

notatrain: What did the man say

longhair: im not telling

icantsee: jesus what did the man say

armin_copycat: spill the tea

longhair: fine

longhair: the f and t words

longhair: ...

longhair: andrew broke something didnt he

notatrain: Yeah.

notatrain: Can I ask you another question?

longhair: shoot

notatrain: Did the fucker call you one or both of the words or did he also call Peter something?

notatrain: Sorry for the language

longhair: its ok

longhair: also he called peter the f word and me the f and t word

Judas: Wait, what?

Judas: Sorry, I just came back

Judas: What happened?

notatrain: Someone called Peter and Jesus names

Judas: Elaborate

longhair: look at the previous messages

Judas: Where the hell do they live

notatrain: Don't worry

notatrain: Peter broke his nose, remeber?

Judas: Where're the other guys?

notatrain: Andrew is trying to get out of heaven and John and James are trying to hold him back

longhair: if i said that the man got two weeks of jail time would he calm down?

notatrain: I'll tell him that

Judas: Just two weeks?

Judas: I'm sorry, but being homophobic and transphobic gets you the same time as breaking someone's nose??

longhair: yeah

notatrain: If I can interrupt for a sec, Andrew has calmed down now

Judas: I call bullshit

Judas: He's probably sharpening a knife as we speak

longhair: oh gosh

longhair: is he?

notatrain: No, I just checked

notatrain: James and John are staying with him until his shift ends

notatrain: I'm babysitting him until his shift starts up again the next day

Judas: BaBySiTtInG-

longhair: ok

longhair: just dont take your eyes off him ok?

longhair: i dont want him potentially killing anyone and get kicked out

notatrain: Got it

Judas: Thomas you better keep me updated

Judas: There is no way I'm missing this lol

notatrain: I'll try too

notatrain: His shift is almost over so I should probably head out

notatrain: Cya

notatrain: I'll keep you guys updated

longhair: ight thank you

longhair: cya

Judas: Bye

Judas: Wait shouldn't Jesus speak to his father about it?

longhair: why?

Judas: Incase he kicks Peter out of heaven

Judas: He's bound to have some information sent to him

longhair: thats...actually a good idea

longhair: ill talk to him about it if he messages me

Judas: You better

Judas: No offence to Lucifer, but hell sucks balls

Judas: I wouldn't even wish that time upon my greatest enemy

longhair: you ok there?

Judas: Yeah, I'm kinda fine

longhair: kinda?

longhair: are you sure your okay?

Judas: Yeah, don't worry about it

Judas: Just something regarding PTSD so yeah

longhair: you wanna talk to someone about it?

Judas: Nah, I'm good

Judas: Gtg cya

longhair: ok cya

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, this chapter was really OOC, but I felt like writing someone sort of angsty today. I hope you all enjoyed it!

**Author's Note:**

> Well, did you like it? Please tell me if you did! I'm really sorry if I offended anyone and if I did, please tell me. If you have a suggestion, don't be afraid to share it!


End file.
